This past week I was the closest to burnout I had been in years.
Dustin and had just started up our Airbnb, and one of our first guests saw a centipede and requested a full refund, which we gave, but I carried a lot of anxiety over how a review could ruin all the time and investment we put into the new house.
The house we live in was getting rented out for the weekend and I was stressed about the review we might receive on the house after the last review we had gotten was poor because the renters didn’t like the personal pictures around the house.
Whether or not I got an agent for the book I am writing is entirely unsure, and even if I put all my effort in, it could amount to nothing.
Some members of my family weren’t doing well, I felt unheard in other significant relationships, I felt disillusioned by an organization I held dear, I was considering quitting the farmer’s market and my part-time job felt overwhelming.
To top this off I hadn’t gotten a night off to rest or process in two weeks and as a result, I was easily hurt by the littlest things and my husband often didn’t know how to handle it.
Last Thursday, I was so filled with anxiety that I just laid in bed awake from 10 pm to 2 am until I decided to get up and loudly shut the blinds on my husband’s side of the bed hoping he would wake up and we could talk. When he didn’t, I noisily and roughly got back into bed “accidentally” kneeing him in the back to wake him up.
“Oh no, did I wake you up babe? I can’t sleep, I am super anxious.” and then came the word vomit about all the things I was anxious about, most of which he already knew.
He tried to comfort me saying “even if things go badly, we will be ok, things will be fine”, but what I wanted to hear was “everything is going to go great, there’s no need to worry, things are fine.”
I turned my back to him, and he tried again, this time miraculously guessing what I wanted to hear (because I was not communicating well) and we prayed together and he held me as we fell asleep.
And that was it, that was the night that I needed to do something to avoid burnout and get an emotionally healthy place again.
This weekend I did three things to recover and by Monday I felt ready to take on all that was weighing on me.
How to recover from burnout:
- Rest- the first thing I did was turn off my cell-phone and spend the weekend with no agenda. Dustin and I wandered around Atlanta, ate dinner, went hiking, and found ourselves watching fireworks with some of our favorite friends. All was unplanned and we allowed ourselves the freedom to not get things done.
- Talk- Take some time to process. For me, it meant journaling and talking it through with trusted people and asking questions like: What is causing anxiety? How did the circumstances come together to create burnout? For me, it was that I had committed to too much. It felt like I was putting in my best effort for many tasks, but ultimately most things were out of my control.
- Listen- Once I had laid my thoughts bare, it was time to listen to God and the advice of loved ones. After journaling, I felt God say to me “ I got this. I love you and I see you and I know what you are feeling. I know that it all seems out of your control right now, but listen to me, I have this.” God’s words were echoed by the reassurances of my husband and slowly I felt prepared for what the coming week brought.
Ways I am preventing burn out:
- Recognize the Signs- When I am easily hurt and overwhelmed by seemingly small incidents, this is a sign that I need to rest and realign.
- Set Boundaries- I’ve chosen to quit a commitment that had to go to make more margin in my life, and I’ve been saying no to future engagements if they’re in a hectic season. This is especially hard for me as a someone who struggles with the fear of missing out. But I’ve learned that being overly busy means I can’t fully be present anywhere.
- Create Time tor Rest- I know in our busy schedules that the last thing we feel like we have time for is rest. Studies have shown that resting our mind is just as essential as resting our bodies, if not more so. Schedule some time to meditate, pause, reflect, and get away from it all, even if means holing out your house and turning off your phone. I am starting to schedule structured rest time because I realize that being present is more important than being a frazzled stressed out person who gets more done.
What about you? Have you ever experienced burnout? What did you do to recover? Do you have any tips for preventing burn out? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.