An invitation to stay, even when you disagree.

There’s no doubt that in our society there’s a lot of disagreement and debate on, well, just about everything.

People disagree on politics, on kneeling during anthems, on gun control, on the place of women in the church and so, so much more. I won’t lie; I have an inclination to stand up for what I believe until someone says something mean and I want to hide away on my couch and cry.

Do I actually go to the couch and cry? Yes, in fact, I just got doing that after a painful conversation with someone about women’s equality and women’s role in the church.

Does something inside me want to quit after having hard conversations? Yes, it can be really exhausting and painful to have hard conversations. I usually have to process them afterward with my God, my journal or my counselor, sometimes all three.

Does that mean I should stop talking? Nope.

I think there’s a lot of reasons that speaking up is difficult and perhaps it’s most difficult when the people you love disagree with you, hurt you, or worse, stop talking to you.

I’ve been noticing a trend in our society, where when we disagree with something we just leave the table. We refuse to engage, and as a result, become more divided than ever.

If men kneel in protest of racial injustice during the National Anthem in an NFL game? Boycott the NFL.

If churches disagree about how to baptize someone? Create a new denomination.

If someone sells Ivanka Trump’s line? Boycott it.

If a friend has different political beliefs? Slowly let that relationship die.

Not all boycotts are bad, and sometimes it’s best to walk away from unhealthy relationships, but excommunicating a brand or a person just because we disagree shouldn’t be our first inclination.

I think what this divided world needs more of is learning how to talk about issue through with respect, and when we disagree on something, coming up with solutions together.

But in order to do that well, we must first learn to listen to each other. When someone says something you disagree with, take 10 seconds to try and see it from their perspective. If someone is talking about their hurt or pain, don’t dismiss it because you don’t understand it.

I’ve recently struggled to be fully authentic in the public sphere with my struggles, my faith, and the things that make me who I am. It’s easier to agree and acquiesce with 80% of evangelicals, but when I remain silent I am letting fear dictate the things I say and leaving marginalized people on their own.

I believe being honest with who I am and what I believe about Christ worth the risk.

One of the biggest struggles I have with my faith is when members of my faith take verses from the Bible and use it to justify discrimination towards LGBQT individuals or women. To me, they are taking an instrument of love and turning it into something else entirely.

I think the Bible is supposed to foster communication, and that through wrestling with scripture we can, not only find the truth, but also community. But a lot of Christians claim to have the Bible figured out and use it as a conversation ender and say something like, “The Bible said it, so I believe it,” without staying around long enough to listen to other ways that scripture could be interpreted.

I was recently listening to Jenn Hatmaker’s podcast where she interviews Rachel Held Evans about this very topic:

 

The posture that the Jewish community takes towards the Bible is so much healthier, I think, than a lot of sort of conservative Christians take, because the posture towards the Bible is, when there’s a conflict or an apparent contradiction or a troubling story–like the binding of Isaac– you know, when Abraham doesn’t seem like “father of the year” to obey God to that extent where you’re willing to sacrifice your kid. You know, that has troubled Jewish scholars for centuries. But instead of running away from it, they see that as an invitation to really wrestle with the text and ask each other questions and to debate.

And so it’s sort of like the Jewish posture towards scripture is–that it’s a conversation starter, not a conversation ender. So many Christians kind of come to the Bible like we’re looking for ammunition to win a debate, you know? We think there’s just one meaning from this story. We have to figure out that meaning and then defend it at all costs. It’s kind of this zero sum game.
She knew that that scripture, that text brought them together into community and gave them something to talk about. If the Bible were easy to understand, if it were simplistic, if it were plain, we’d have nothing to talk about with God or with one another.

I have a Jewish friend named Ahava and I think she put it perfectly. She helped me with my Year of Biblical Womanhood Project, and we were Skyping and she said, “Oh my goodness.” Her husband’s a Rabbi. She lives in Israel actually. Her husband’s a Rabbi and she said, “We invited a bunch of other Rabbis over to the house one night, and everybody was eating and debating Torah, and they were going back and forth and nobody could agree. We started to run out of food and they woke the baby up twice,” and she said, “Rachel, it was wonderful.”

I think God gave us the Bible to be a conversation starter like that, to invite us into community, because being people of faith isn’t just about being right. It’s about being a part of a community, and the Bible gives us so much to talk about.

And after listening to Rachel talk, I was encouraged. Encouraged that even though members of the church can disagree, we can respect one another enough to have a healthy dialogue.

Let’s start viewing the Bible as a conversation starter, and not a conversation ender.

With that said, I am going to start speaking more boldly in this space, and even if you disagree I am going to ask you to stay, to dialogue, to not “boycott” me.

I truly think we can learn a lot from each other, if only we’re willing to listen. So if you’re in, if you’re ready to have discussions and build community.

I can’t wait to see where this takes us.