Why it’s Better to Give than Receive

Have you ever heard the phrase it is better to give than receive?

Yeah, I remember hearing that all the time as a kid, especially around Christmas time. Giving was the message in all those wonderful, sappy Christmas movies and the phrase echoed by the adults around me.

My mom would hand me a wrapped gift, which I would tear open and discover a brand new pack of Pokemon cards (I was clearly a very cool kid) and then she would tell me, “It is better to give than receive.”

I would smile and agree while looking through my cards to see if I had gotten a holographic Charizard. I figured it was better to agree than to have her talk more about giving and distract me from my quest.

I remember thinking, “Listen lady, I don’t have time to explain to you why it is better to have a holographic Charizard than to give away a holographic Charizard. I mean one day this card would be so valuable one day that it could pay for my college education! Why would I give it away?”

It wasn’t until years later when I got over my selfishness that I learned she was right, and so were all those wonderful, sappy Christmas movies.

It is, indeed, better to give than receive. And I am about to tell you why.

For years when I felt empty of love, I would try and get it. I would seek attention, ask for it, or even worse, try to manipulate others to give me love. I don’t think I fully understood what I was doing. I was just hungry and trying to fill myself the only way I knew how.

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I discovered the things  I was trying to fill myself with were actually empty.

I remember having the stark realization that when I asked for love from others, I got anything but. Taking something that is meant to be given freely and making it obligatory changes the nature of it. Forced love isn’t really love at all.

It got me thinking, if I couldn’t get love by asking for it, how could I get it?

Well, maybe I already had it. The Bible told me that I was loved, infinitely, and I felt that was what God was telling me, too.

So if I had all of this love, why couldn’t I feel it?

Maybe I couldn’t feel it because I wasn’t letting it out. I was kind of like a bottle filled with water. Everything that could quench my thirst was inside me, but first, I had to remove the cap and let it out.

God ever so gently suggested that I remove the cap.

He wanted me to take my eyes from what I was receiving and focus my gaze on others, to learn how to give whatever I lacked away.

I listened. I began giving away what I thought I lacked, and realized it (love, encouragement, etc) was inside me all along. I just had to give some away to realize how much I had.

When I felt unloved I would go find someone to love. When I felt discouraged, I would write an encouraging note to someone. When I felt unworthy, I would show someone who didn’t know their own worth just how worthy they are. When I felt poor, I would give my money away.

And what I got in return was tenfold whatever I gave away with a pure heart.

I felt more loved the more I loved others. I felt more encouraged the more I encouraged others. I even experienced more financial provision the more I gave my money away.

The more I gave, the more fulfilled I felt. Love and all that other good stuff just started flowing out of me naturally and instead of being emptied, I was being filled.

It’s funny because it doesn’t seem to make sense, giving away something that you don’t have.

But I have found that is how most things function in the Kingdom of God. You know, dying so that you may live, fighting with love instead of hate, giving instead of receiving.

It seems like Jesus liked to go against the way of the world, and in so doing, changed it forever.

So may we give what we lack in order to see that we had it all along.

 

 

 

 

 

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